Christmas Club Night
It arrived, the club night everyone had been waiting for. The tension was in the air.
Fancy dress, what fancy dress? Clearly, the event was still being taken seriously. Player after player turned up. No fancy dress. Serious stuff. Then finally the entrance was made, famous nativity shepherd fresh from the School Xmas play, Dust-Bin Liner (Ferlin Barnard) and the John Belushi half of the Blues Brothers, yes the bigger one (Tim Prior).
Ian Burnham allocated the appropriate handicaps to the players. Let play commence.
An appearance was made by the elusive Martin Brewin who was made to play off scratch…..oh, the justice!! Favouring his usual back to the front wall stance and various other party tricks and with the long journey from Milton Keynes causing jetlag he was, as usual, great entertainment value.
There were 2 leagues, and close games were had by all. Lawrence Ball whacking balls left and right. Eamonn Treanor losing to Martin in a close game but tired him out enough for Kim Cozens to hound him out. Kim narrowly failed to win the group by 2 points, but failing to wear his fancy dress (Karens nightie) which was left in his kit bag caused a further loss of 20 points through fines!
Tim playing in his blazer was storming through his games despite his fancy dress, though he did take off the safety glasses, oops no, sunglasses!
Then the shy and retiring Mark Smith, was seen to get into the spirit, he had been hiding his McEnroe wig. Seriously. But he failed to play in it….you cannot be serious! Mark was boshed early in the evening by his close friend and new member Tom Marriott who dazzled Mark with 5 straight nicks to take the tie 15-1, welcome to the club Tom.
Paul McCormick was quietly beating players in his league while Mike Ferriera proved to be his difficult self treating the spectators to some dazzling Squash.
Guy Miller was hitting the ball smoothly as usual, causing people to run around like headless chickens.
John Fields, using all tactics possible to win, wore a pair of seductive red earrings and did we detect a faint hint of makeup and perhaps a sense of humour!!! Clearly hoping to distract his opponents but failing and was hammered by Bin Liner in one of his earlier games – not seductive enough John!
Last months winner Dave Spooner again proved difficult but there was no repeat of last months win (Good handicapping Ian!)
After sweat and toil came the final. The winners of the two leagues, Paul and Tim, came together for a final that involved everything you expect in a great movie. Action, tension, sweat, toil and….blood. Yes, it was a bloody battle. In the end Tim resorted to whacking Paul on the nose that managed to give him the edge and the victory!
Tim was awarded a Bottle of Whisky for his knockout and Ferlin was awarded a prize for the best fancy dress – Dust Bin Liner!