On a dark, dark, night, in the dark, dark Fens the undefeated Stamford squash team battled through the icy fog, intent on giving Crown Lodge a right good thrashing. Brimming with over confidence, new rackets and an arrogant air, the lads from Stamford strutted onto court with an expectant air of victory. Was pride going to come before a fall?

First on the psychedelically painted courts was Simon Barker, playing a lean and mean Robin Attersley. Simon was looking a little jaded from the start and Peter sneaked the first 9-7. In the second Simon managed to string a few good shots together and clawed his way back to win 9-6. But, alas, this was only a false dawn. Simon had the glazed expression of a rabbit in the headlights, and, after losing the third 9-7, managed to waste a commanding lead in the forth to lose the match 3-1, and become the first team member to lose a match. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer chap!

The shock waves intensified when Simon’s brother, Richard Barker crashed out woefully against a chubby Peter Askew 3-2. Was this the end of Stamford’s bid for promotion? The fabulous Barker Boys had gone down in flames – the end of an era.

It was now up to Jonathan Oakley and Mark Smith to mount a recovery. Smithy, after a shaky start found his form to clinically see off Paul Swallow 3-1.

Jonathan, however, playing Stephanie Marriott (a Michelle Pfeiffer look alike) seemed more concerned about scoring in the bar afterwards than scoring points during the match. Stephanie played inspirational squash, with the style and accuracy that only women can. Jonathan politely kept the rallies going as long as possible and “threw” a couple of games for good measure. A classy performance earned Stephanie three match points and the respect of the gallery, before Jonathan, snatched victory from the jaws of defeat to win 10-8 in the fifth and square the match 2-2. Stephanie, intent on revenge immediately pencilled the date of the return leg in her diary, – mission accomplished by Stamford!

Last on court was Paul York. Playing like a demon he dispatched Robert Murfitt with the determination and precision that we are coming to take for granted. With its reputation restored, the Green Man Squash Team can once again hold its head up high, but questions must be asked about the bottom end!