After last weeks excellent start to the season Stamford Green Man were confident and looking forward to tonight’s match. Again it was the Barker brothers that got the show under way.

Richard Barker was on against Mike Wilson. Richard started strongly looking sharp on court. Good court movement from Richard allowed him time on the ball and saw him playing to a consistent good length and width. Mike fought hard to stay with game but was under continual pressure causing too many errors securing the first for Richard 9-2. The next two games saw Richard again making very few errors, putting Mike under too much pressure resulting in Richard taking them 9-4 and 9-2. A solid start for Stamford winning the first tie 3-0.

Simon Barker was court next door playing Andy Newman. Andy proved a little unorthodox and as the first game got under way Simon was struggling to find form. However as the game progressed Simon began hitting a better length and used a very effective boast to work Andy around the court. This turned a close first game at the halfway point, with Simon comfortably taking it 9-5. The second game Simon dominated, moving well and hitting hard, giving no time for Andy to settle causing errors. 9-1 to Simon. Much of the same in the third with Andy now tiring provided Simon with a comfortable win 9-3 and the tie 3-0.

Next on was Mark Smith playing James Richardson. James looked good in the knock up and concerned looks from the balcony were noted amongst the Stamford players as to whether Mark would cope with James’s pace and accuracy. As the game got under way though the team relaxed as Mark overwhelmed James with tight shots, good length and his newly found boast proving it was no fluke after being magnificently demonstrated last week. Outstanding as Mark cruised through 9-1. The second game saw Mark in different form. Never before has 90 seconds (time between games) caused such a radical change in game plan. Mark came out confident that he could hit everything into the tin. To ensure this occurred he resorted to tactics such as framing the shot, allowing the ball to go past him as far as possible before attempting an impossible boast (not even the new improved boast could cope) and finally, completely missing the ball. Gasps of despair were heard from the balcony as he lost the second 9-2. With the pressure firmly on Mark now, much soul searching was required and again the 90 second break transformed Mark back into some semblance of a squash player as he started to compete and produce much better shots. As Mark relaxed he took control of the match comfortably winning the next two 9-1 and 9-3 taking the tie 3-1.

Jonathon Oakley (team fashion consultant) took on Dave Blexham. Jonathon was modelling a girly sweat absorbing top, which caused several breaks in the game as he had to re-adjust the label to ensure it was visible to all. This clearly unnerved Dave who was obviously not used to playing on a catwalk. Jon however was fired up for the game and played consistent, accurate squash, mixing it up and wrong footing Dave on a number of occasions. Dave was unable to cope with Jon’s domination on the court and was continually digging out of the corners or playing shots off balance. Such pressure gave Jon the tie 9-2, 9-2, 9-0.

Last on was Paul York against Chris Boswell. The knock up saw Yorkie hitting numerous nicks, leathering the ball as he attempted to intimidate Chris. This worked well! Chris was unable to cope with Yorkie’s power and accuracy and lost the first very quickly with Yorkie barely breaking sweat. Again though the 90 second break monster got Yorkie as he completely lost the plot and played the second “like a Muppet”. Chris took full advantage of the situation running out to an 8-3 lead in the second whilst Yorkie continually verbally abused himself throughout. At 8-3 down and finally some of the old magic re-appeared as he clawed his way back to 8-8. Excellent battling saw Yorkie eventually take the second 10-8. Yorkie was seen walking off court for the break, phone in hand, obviously needing to phone a friend. 2-0 up now and Chris, disheartened after losing the second, never got into the third. Yorkie’s phone call obviously worked (or was it 90 seconds of web surfing looking for pictures of ice cream), as he blasted his way to victory 9-0.

Another superb victory for the new boys in the Cambs leagues. Apologies go out to all opposing team members who have to suffer Yorkie’s detailed analysis as to what makes good ice cream, (self confessed guru on all things ice cream related). Concern was raised as to the amount of tasting required in the job as Yorkie took the “wide load” sticker off his arse.