Crown Lodge I v Stamford Green Man
Confidence in the team had improved after last weeks sound thrashing of Haverhill and we looking for another win away to Crown Lodge.
First on tonight was Smithy playing a very lovely GIRL Stephanie Marriot. Smithy in his haste to get hot and sweaty with her was on court playing when the rest of the team arrived (delayed by the sudden incredible need for James Treweek to get his skis sorted at Tallington?? Rush hour and trains crossing???? And he seemed surprised to receive a barrage of abuse reminding him that he had set the team back by at least 30 minutes causing significant stress to the driver (Richard B). Anyway I digress. We arrived (late) to see Smithy getting a right good tonking by Steph who looked very glamorous modelling her squash kit whilst gracefully moving Smithy from corner to corner, back of the court to the front. Smithy being the gent he is, took it on himself to play some “woeful” squash managing to make Steph look awesome! After being stuffed in the first and second, advice was supplied to step the pace up to which Smithy was heard to say, “my legs have gone”. Fortunately Steph had some nice legs for the lads to admire as Smithy was seen ricocheting around the court in a mad frenzy attempting to save a 3-0 hiding by a GIRL. It was clear now that Steph felt sorry for him as she let him back into the match making a few unforced errors whilst applying lippy. Smithy took full advantage and managed to sneak the next two bringing the tie 2-2. Having had a quick freshen up and manicure (split a nail in the fourth struggling with cap on her lipstick) in the 90 second break Steph was back on court for the fifth looking very fit. Concerned that that her mascara may start to run if she started to sweat too much Steph started strong in the fifth and soon had Mark in trouble again. A few quick kills at the front of the court and it was all over. 9-3 to Steph. Smithy was devastated. Whooped by a GIRL.
Next on court was Richard playing Sammy Chambers – a very useful 12 year old. As they went on court confidence was high for Richard as Sammy struggled to lift an adult racket. Still as they started knocking up Sammy got used to it and managed to hit a couple back. The first game saw Richard floating the ball around the court as Sammy found his form and played some good length, accurate squash. Rich struggling to hit any winners just failed to do enough in the first and Sammy nicked it 10-8. The second and third saw Richard controlling the court and putting Sammy under a lot of pressure (but he didn’t cry or tell his dad) as he had comfortable 9-2, 9-2 wins. The fourth though turned and Richard was again on the back foot as Sammy hit good accurate shots to take it 9-4. Pressure was on Richard now in the fifth. Sammy had to get a move on as it was way past his bedtime but in his haste hit too many tins allowing Richard back into the match for a 9-5 victory and the tie 3-2.
Next on was Simon fresh from a tough competition in Portsmouth playing Mike Watts. From the outset though it was clear that Simon had left 90% of his squash ability in Portsmouth – playing short, loose and in the tin. Hang on though – isn’t that his normal game? Some interesting squash saw Simon attempting the world speed record for a squash ball which he may have attained had he not buried so many in the tin! Mike picked most of the ones that came back to him off for easy winners securing the first 9-3. Simon relaxed more in the second and managed to rally back slowing the pace and with plenty of running took the second 9-4. Another crisis in the third saw Simon fall apart and lose 9-2. Following on from the second the fourth saw Mike having a breather as Simon took it easily 9-1. So into the fifth and the only decent game of the tie as both players played reasonable well together. Some good rallies but Simon finally succumbed 10-8 to lose 3-2.
Yorkie’s turn to do the business as captain. He was playing Robin Attlesey. As the first began this was clearly a mismatch as Yorkie was hitting shots at will, under no pressure and was completely in charge. 9-0 and 9-0 saw yet another 27-0 opportunity for Yorkie. But a couple of errors and it went, as he romped home 9-4 and 3-0. Well-played captain!
Finally on court was James Treweek who having sorted his skis was clearly in a relaxed frame of mind – joshing with the guys on how his boss had threatened to “break his neck”. It’s a tough job running a gym! Anyway I digress again. James was playing Robert Murfett. Rob began playing some nice squash, hitting a good width and moving James well but here James was in his forte as he bounced around the court like a gazelle retrieving some “irretrievable” shots. Rob couldn’t deal with the pace and soon James was able to control the rallies, moving Rob to the front with a hurting boast on many occasions. 9-4, 9-3, 9-3 to James as both players played some very entertaining squash.
So Stamford was victorious and actually only dropped two points from the maximum for another very good win.
James Treweek v Robert Murfett 9-4 9-3 9-3
Paul York v Robin Attesley 9-0 9-0 9-4
Mark Smith v Steph Marriot 7-9 7-9 10-9 9-2 3-9
Simon Barker v Mike Watts 3-9 9-4 2-9 9-1 8-10
Richard Barker v Sammy Chambers 8-10 9-2 9-2 4-9 9-5